I freaking love mantras. I’m not a daily mantra person though, no way. That’s too much work. I have come to realize that I develop a mantra for a season of life. I don’t mean the Autumn and Summer kind of season, but a phase of time. It’s not measured in anyway except in hindsight.
About two years ago, for about 6 months I was really filling my head with, “that is not my truth”, as my mantra. It was a season of fear and doubt. I can be a bit of an energy-absorber, and am extra sensitive to media images, other people’s stories, etc., and can so easily slip into empathy for them (not sympathy, but empathy), that I lose sight of my own feelings, and experiences.
I found that if I placed a mental trigger every time I started to emotionally recoil from something, that I could push away from the feelings easier and identify them as just that, feelings.
That is not my truth. The statement is helpful because it distanced me from attaching to a story, but allowed me to see that it was someone else’s truth, and to honor that. It’s ok for me to feel for someone and let my heart break a little, though I don’t need to adopt their experience as my own and let it cloud my presence, my state of mind, my mental health.
That was and still is an effective approach for me in identifying when something is not my truth, but I am in a new phase now with a new mantra.
“This is just a season.” How wonderfully planted, huh? So full circle.
I realized while on a long drive recently that the way I dream/plan doesn’t allow for the journey of life, but places down an “I’ve arrived!” expectation. It’s the notion that “once I have this”, then “I will feel this”. That is a dangerous road to walk. For example, “Once I have a raised garden bed and a big yard, then I will feel satisfied with my home”.
Ouch. That ain’t no way to live a life, always wanting more, to get you somewhere happy.
Not only does that diminish the amazing home I have now, but it creates this dissatisfaction that I wallow in. There are a lot of dreams and hopes that my husband and I have, a larger home with a larger (much larger) yard being one of them. If we constantly dwell on not having that, we miss out on what is going right in the present. The truth is, that will come. If that is what we want, we will have it. It’s not time yet. Where we are now is “just for a season”, like there will be a season for big yards and garden beds.
This season? It’s for practicing. Honing. Learning.
It’s easy to sit on your couch day after day watching Chip and Joanna Gaines renovate houses flawlessly, and to think, “Why isn’t that my life?” Well, maybe it’s not your life, because it’s not your life. Have you ever fixed up a house? Or maybe even just a room? It’s the opposite of easy.
If you want it that bad, prove it.
I was on a brisk morning walk with my husband, dog pulling the leash, coffee spilling, as I tried to pitch him an idea.
“Babe, you know that little abandoned drive-thru down the street from us? I think I want to make it a breakfast burrito joint. There will be just three options – super simple. Super affordable and easy. I’ll catch all the morning commuter traffic and then be done for the day at 2pm!”
His response? An eye roll, followed by silence.
“Babe, did you hear me? Don’t you think that’s a great idea?!” I prodded more – thinking maybe he was distracted and hadn’t heard me describe the genius that was by three burrito business plan.
The truth was, this was probably the eleventh idea I had run past him in six months. He was sick of being on the dreamboat river cruise, and waiting for me to anchor into really. He also knew, it was probably a phase. If I really wanted it, I’d already be making moves to make it happen.
In my heart, I do think that business idea could be amazing. I don’t however, think it’s for me. At that time we were engaged, wanted kids quickly after we were married, and had no idea how to start a restaurant. Nor did either of us want to start a habit of waking up before dawn. So, it wasn’t time for that, and maybe never will be. That was a season of something else for us – the season of starting our marriage and our family.
Putting a pin into a dream for a season allows you to follow the paths that you’re truly meant for, and to celebrate the season that you are in with true presence.
There you have it. It’s all just a season. For me, I am in a season of practice. I have a tiny 1×1 foot veggie garden that I am working on, and if it really matters to me, then you’ll see me graduate into a neighboring community garden. And if that thrives and gives me life, then I bet you all-in on that pair of kings, that I’ll have a raised garden bed soon to follow.
If you really want something, you’ll make it happen. In the meantime, embracing where you are, yet knowing what you want in the future can bring incredible peace. Dreams that haven’t come true yet are not failures, but futures. It’s all about the season.
The Three Burrito Business Plan Burrito
1 Tablespoon coconut oil
1 flour tortilla
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 avocado
2 eggs
1/4 cup frozen Potatoes O’Brien
Salt and pepper
Hot sauce optional
2 slices of bacon per burrito – cook as you would normally cook. Nuke it, bace it, sauté it – doesn’t matter.
1. Heat pan over Medium with coconut oil. Shake out the frozen potatoes O’Brien and cook until tender and just starting to brown, about 9 minutes.
2. As the potatoes cook, scramble your eggs in a bowl, then set aside. Also while these taters cook, melt cheese onto tortillas with a separate pan over very low heat. Sometimes I add a little butter to extra-impress with the burritos. Make sure to not get the tortillas too browned, or they won’t roll very easily. Also sometimes I cheat and just microwave the cheese onto the tortilla for about 25 seconds. I know, it’s shockingly easy.
Also also while the potatoes cook, make your bacon and set aside.
3. Once potatoes are cooked, add eggs straight into pan, and cook on low, slowly stirring continuously. “Low and slow” for scrambled eggs are the key. Add a generous pinch of salt and pepper.
4. Place egg potatoes mixture onto cheesy tortilla, and slice your avocado onto that – I love the cold avocado on the hot stuff. Then top the avocado with the hot bacon. It’s a temperature sand which in a burrito. Damn. So good.
5. Dash a little Sriracha or hot sauce as needed.
6. Roll up your burrito and voila! All done!
NOTE: If you are cooking for a crowd, I recommend baking the bacon, and setting out before you get started, and then using the warm over to warm the cheese onto the tortillas as the potatoes cook.
Photo is by Iron and Fern.