Bailey Van Tassel

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02 Aug 2022
Lifestyle, motherhood

We’re Expecting Our Third Baby!

The day after I found out that I was pregnant with our third baby, I emailed myself this note: 

May 20, 2022

“Dear Baby, 

I found out about you on a rainy morning in May. Just the night before I had taken a pregnancy test and thought that it was negative – I thought that you weren’t in the cards for us. And perhaps our time had come to allow this dream to pass.

And then while casually talking to a friend on the phone glanced down at that same test and saw a faint line! And my heart instantly knew you were there – like sunshine and coziness. Calm. So much calm. 

We love you already and thank you for choosing us.”

I write notes to myself like this on my phone about all sorts of things. I keep tiny sentences listed out on “sweets & funnies”, which are things that my kids say and do. I have notes titled “perfect day” when a day is just start-to-finish exactly how I hoped it would be – or better yet, turned out beautiful when there was no intention set at all. I savor the tiny tiny glimpses because I find so much beauty in them. 

I think often about a question that my father once asked me. It was three weeks before he passed and we were sitting out on his deck in matching wooden rocking chairs made out of thin logs. He was in pajamas with a blanket draped over his lap, drinking coffee. We were silent. Choking on the knowledge that his time was short, and though we’d said what we each needed to say, there was still so much we wanted to talk about. So much our future selves would want to ruminate over together. We loved to process the world together, with discernment and debate. 

“When you write, is it something you think a lot about and then try to make sense of, or do you just get a download out of nowhere?” he asked me. 

I was so surprised by the question. It wasn’t until closer to his passing that he shared with me how much he liked my writing and thought it a gift that I would use to help people or simply bless the world. 

“A little bit of both I guess…” I thought about it more deeply. “But mostly the latter.” 

I love my gift, especially when it comes to motherhood. Because it helps me process how much I deeply love these little beings. I get these sparks of divine intervention that help me pin into my mind and memory the things that I want to keep. The things that help me start each day again with a fresh heart, pushing past any weariness from the day before. 

This third pregnancy is not actually my third. It’s my fifth. And the pregnancy before this ended at 15 weeks, which is over three months of carrying a baby that you think will be someday in your arms. It was heartbreaking. Harder than losing my father, though different. Now, with more experience in grief, the acceptance is easier to manage a bit. However, as we come up to that exact 15-week milestone in this current pregnancy, I find my anxiety collecting, like the building of a rubber band ball. Each day a new band added to the mass of worry. Throughout the day I find myself taking deep breaths and just praying that it will all be perfectly OK. 

We are indeed blessed in many ways, myself and my family that is. You too, I would imagine.

But the layers of our humanity are thick with nuance and more recently I’ve begun to realize just how much our own paths are made just for us. 

Getting to bring another child into the world, with a path set out just for them, is an insane privilege and I am quite simply honored to get to do it again.  

More to come on baby three – we are waiting to know the gender and going day by day with the hope of a happy, healthy, perfect little soul joining the family. 

TAGS:babiesfamilypersonal notepregnancy
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Hi I’m Bailey

Hi I’m Bailey

Teaching you how to grow veggies in any space while show you how to live a garden-inspired life.

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There is no better strategy than to get to know your own garden, seasons, weather, and microclimate. No reading, no influencer, no tv show knows better. 

To start, deep dive into your specific zip code’s US hardiness zone. If you’re international, Google your city with “hardiness zone” tacked on and see where that gets you. 

Next, get to know your zip code’s monthly weather averages, which is even better than the broad hardiness zone info. A zone 9 in Southern California versus South Carolina is very different because of humidity, storms, pests, etc. 

Frost dates are cool to know as well, but with time, *you* will be able to tell if it’s going to be a cold March or a mild one, and if planting after Mother’s Day has ever led you wrong or instead always been the perfect timing. 

What you’re looking to know is this: when will my seeds/seedlings germinate or thrive best for the time they’re outside? Will there be enough sun and heat for my spring/summer crops, or enough cool but not too cold for my fall/winter veg? It’s about 90 days that you need, and then if you’re starting seeds inside, that can get you a bonus 2 month head start. All seeds are different but these are good generalizations. 

There is simply nothing that can beat your experience, and that my friends is what makes gardening so beautiful, so intuitive, so humbling, and also so confidence building. 

Lean in.
baileyvantassel
baileyvantassel
•
Follow

There is no better strategy than to get to know your own garden, seasons, weather, and microclimate. No reading, no influencer, no tv show knows better.

To start, deep dive into your specific zip code’s US hardiness zone. If you’re international, Google your city with “hardiness zone” tacked on and see where that gets you.

Next, get to know your zip code’s monthly weather averages, which is even better than the broad hardiness zone info. A zone 9 in Southern California versus South Carolina is very different because of humidity, storms, pests, etc.

Frost dates are cool to know as well, but with time, *you* will be able to tell if it’s going to be a cold March or a mild one, and if planting after Mother’s Day has ever led you wrong or instead always been the perfect timing.

What you’re looking to know is this: when will my seeds/seedlings germinate or thrive best for the time they’re outside? Will there be enough sun and heat for my spring/summer crops, or enough cool but not too cold for my fall/winter veg? It’s about 90 days that you need, and then if you’re starting seeds inside, that can get you a bonus 2 month head start. All seeds are different but these are good generalizations.

There is simply nothing that can beat your experience, and that my friends is what makes gardening so beautiful, so intuitive, so humbling, and also so confidence building.

Lean in.

4 days ago
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1/4
Goes to the beach to play, comes home with driftwood branches for the garden✨. 

Apparently it was the highest tide in 35+ years causing all this debris to be washed up on the beach. I saw the perfect 5’ curved branches and just had to whip up some pea trellises! 

There’s nothing like the feeling of hard work done by your own hands.
baileyvantassel
baileyvantassel
•
Follow

Goes to the beach to play, comes home with driftwood branches for the garden✨.

Apparently it was the highest tide in 35+ years causing all this debris to be washed up on the beach. I saw the perfect 5’ curved branches and just had to whip up some pea trellises!

There’s nothing like the feeling of hard work done by your own hands.

5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
House hunting priorities went from ‘open floor plan’ to ‘open land’ after I started gardening. I didn’t have this passion when we got married - my poor husband. 

It’s a tall order in Southern California and arguably not a thing unless you’re the multi-millionaire kind of wealthy (we’re not). So, I wanted to leave the state. Also not a thing when you own a business here. So, I wanted just enough space for a few garden boxes. 

On the listing for this house, there was no shown space for a garden. But we came anyways, and found this empty patch of mulch. 

Time, vision, and a dedication to the dream ☁️. I also had like three other versions of this space before this one, just to keep me gardening well before I had raised beds. Who was around when I built berms?? 

Any garden design questions? Leave them here and I’ll answer them all 👇🏼

#gardendesign #raisedbeds #kitchengarden
baileyvantassel
baileyvantassel
•
Follow

House hunting priorities went from ‘open floor plan’ to ‘open land’ after I started gardening. I didn’t have this passion when we got married – my poor husband.

It’s a tall order in Southern California and arguably not a thing unless you’re the multi-millionaire kind of wealthy (we’re not). So, I wanted to leave the state. Also not a thing when you own a business here. So, I wanted just enough space for a few garden boxes.

On the listing for this house, there was no shown space for a garden. But we came anyways, and found this empty patch of mulch.

Time, vision, and a dedication to the dream ☁️. I also had like three other versions of this space before this one, just to keep me gardening well before I had raised beds. Who was around when I built berms??

Any garden design questions? Leave them here and I’ll answer them all 👇🏼

#gardendesign #raisedbeds #kitchengarden

2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
Virginia Woolf talked about having a room of her own (for writing of course). 

But I too believe that every woman should have a room of her very own - a space for her dream to be worked at. 

I didn’t even know I was building mine the first time around, and ever since that first garden have fought to keep one.  For me, the garden is where I can impose however much or little of myself. 
It can be wild or kept, and often I have to dance with factors far outside myself just to keep it going. 

I realize too that I live in a place in my own mind often, and then bits of real life replicate that dreamy space. Tiny present moments that create the feelings of contentment and peace will match up with the little world I’m striving to create externally. 

And I have come to realize that our rooms - whether indoors or outside, or within a journal, are vessels. We enter with our changing moods, coloring the walls with our predispositions. 

Each day, with these little ones by my side, I hope to showcase more and more of a world where we can build houses by our own hands and hearts - solidly on foundations of hope, perseverance, resilience, optimism, joy, commitment, authenticity, and boundary-less love. 

The world begs for your youness, and that is it. For you to create out here what is also in there. 

Beautiful outfit: @thisisthegreat_ 💘
Virginia Woolf talked about having a room of her own (for writing of course). 

But I too believe that every woman should have a room of her very own - a space for her dream to be worked at. 

I didn’t even know I was building mine the first time around, and ever since that first garden have fought to keep one.  For me, the garden is where I can impose however much or little of myself. 
It can be wild or kept, and often I have to dance with factors far outside myself just to keep it going. 

I realize too that I live in a place in my own mind often, and then bits of real life replicate that dreamy space. Tiny present moments that create the feelings of contentment and peace will match up with the little world I’m striving to create externally. 

And I have come to realize that our rooms - whether indoors or outside, or within a journal, are vessels. We enter with our changing moods, coloring the walls with our predispositions. 

Each day, with these little ones by my side, I hope to showcase more and more of a world where we can build houses by our own hands and hearts - solidly on foundations of hope, perseverance, resilience, optimism, joy, commitment, authenticity, and boundary-less love. 

The world begs for your youness, and that is it. For you to create out here what is also in there. 

Beautiful outfit: @thisisthegreat_ 💘
Virginia Woolf talked about having a room of her own (for writing of course). 

But I too believe that every woman should have a room of her very own - a space for her dream to be worked at. 

I didn’t even know I was building mine the first time around, and ever since that first garden have fought to keep one.  For me, the garden is where I can impose however much or little of myself. 
It can be wild or kept, and often I have to dance with factors far outside myself just to keep it going. 

I realize too that I live in a place in my own mind often, and then bits of real life replicate that dreamy space. Tiny present moments that create the feelings of contentment and peace will match up with the little world I’m striving to create externally. 

And I have come to realize that our rooms - whether indoors or outside, or within a journal, are vessels. We enter with our changing moods, coloring the walls with our predispositions. 

Each day, with these little ones by my side, I hope to showcase more and more of a world where we can build houses by our own hands and hearts - solidly on foundations of hope, perseverance, resilience, optimism, joy, commitment, authenticity, and boundary-less love. 

The world begs for your youness, and that is it. For you to create out here what is also in there. 

Beautiful outfit: @thisisthegreat_ 💘
baileyvantassel
baileyvantassel
•
Follow

Virginia Woolf talked about having a room of her own (for writing of course).

But I too believe that every woman should have a room of her very own – a space for her dream to be worked at.

I didn’t even know I was building mine the first time around, and ever since that first garden have fought to keep one. For me, the garden is where I can impose however much or little of myself.
It can be wild or kept, and often I have to dance with factors far outside myself just to keep it going.

I realize too that I live in a place in my own mind often, and then bits of real life replicate that dreamy space. Tiny present moments that create the feelings of contentment and peace will match up with the little world I’m striving to create externally.

And I have come to realize that our rooms – whether indoors or outside, or within a journal, are vessels. We enter with our changing moods, coloring the walls with our predispositions.

Each day, with these little ones by my side, I hope to showcase more and more of a world where we can build houses by our own hands and hearts – solidly on foundations of hope, perseverance, resilience, optimism, joy, commitment, authenticity, and boundary-less love.

The world begs for your youness, and that is it. For you to create out here what is also in there.

Beautiful outfit: @thisisthegreat_ 💘

2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

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